It is now the middle of the semester and mount homework is now in full view and I have yet to reach base camp. Highlights of the past month have included having a bubble bath and learning how to poach an egg. Needless to say, my life is a ABSOLUTE RAVE right now and is much more exciting than Ibiza. I am currently in the process of writing a literature review which is due tomorrow at midnight and I have another one due on friday. For those of you who have not written and academic literature review, all it basically is is looking at different peoples opinions who think they are right about a certain issue. Then you basically say why they differ and whose argument is best.
When you get to the later half of your university degree readings multiply at a faster rate than than rabbits do. It has come to my attention now after reading several hundred articles that there really isn't much of a difference between academics and children.
Case in Point.
When you're in primary school person A might make statement say, " Manchester United is better than Liverpool"
Person be responds " no it's not liverpool IS SOOOOO The best"
A retalliates " Yeah they are liverpool is SOO stupid just like you"
and the conversation goes back on forth between calling people idiots until an ultimatum is give, most likely a lie all, all designed to shut the other person up. So, person A might say something like " WELL MY DADDY IS BEST FRIENDS WITH ALEX FERGURSON AND HE SAID THAT THERE THE BEST TEAM IN THE WHOLE WORLD". Person B shuts up and accepts defeat that Manchester United is better than Liverpool.... ( which is super obvious anyways) and person B will try find someone again to prove that Liverpool is better than Manchester United.
As you work your way through university you get quite good at making arguments, wether it be through and academic paper, a debate over facebook on a article someone posted or at a bar after far to much beer. Those who really enjoy arguing and are good at it continue climbing the academic ladder until the get a PHD, or as I like to call it Professional Hassler's degree. I call it this because once you decide to become an academic when you'r not teaching, all you really do is hassle other about who is right and who is not, much like children until you deliver and ultimatum which is distorted to fit you'r opinion on a matter but in a much more formal fashion. Case in point
Prof A argues the cause of Africa is poor because of colonialism, prof B responds by saying no its slavery because slavery created tension. Instead of battling it out in the playground like kids they instead sit in their offices and get in a scholarly article tag war, in which they basically attack each other through a series of academic articles that other academics will either read, or make their students read. These wars can go on for decades, unlike playground wars and eventually one academic will win by either finding something true or seeing something that is loosely true and manipulating it to their advantage. The academic who lost will find someone engage in the next academic battle with in hopes to convince them that his theory is right.
So to conclude academics and children are one and the same , they engage in arguments, children are less formal academics, the both distorte things in one way or another. Academics spend far more money that children but all they want to do at the end of the day is prove their equals that they are right and they are wrong.
On that note I leave you, and I hope to God that my professors don't stumble upon this and I suddenly find myself entrenched in an academic war, where they are trying to argue to me that they are superior to children. If that's the case I will make it clear that I do not hold Professional Hasslers Degree and nor do I have any desire to for that matter. Should they persist, I will do my usual when someone is trying to win an argument that I can't be bothered having, look at them, try change the subject and go " quite frankly I don't give a sh*t".
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