Many people will tell you that the way to survives the last few weeks of term and exam season at university is by getting enough sleep, drinking lots of coffee and proper nutrition. I say thats a load of bollocks. That does not mean that the opposite is how to survive university, not sleeping, not drinking coffee and living off of pot noodle. The fact of the matter is the key to surviving the last few weeks of term is friendships and being sociable.
Last year a mate of mine said something when she was a bit drunk, at the time I thought it was quite logical, granted I was a bit drunk as well, but thinking about it now she had a valid point. To quote her, "Friends are like bras they hold each other up". I guess it makes sense but needs a bit of further clarification. Friendships are a bit like the relationship between bra's and boobs. A bra holds boobs up and in place to stop them from crashing to the ground because, the sad but unfortunate truth is," a woman's breasts are a journey the destination is her feet", to quote Sally from the BBC TV series, Coupling.
Friends so a similar thing they hold you up when your tired stressed, exhausted contemplating slamming your head against a wall or alcoholism. They provide humour to take your mind of the never ending mountains of school work. They remind each other that "everything will be alright and if it's not alright it's not the end". They do little things which make you realize how lucky you are at the end of the day. They make sure that you get enough sleep, and don't over dose on caffene.
The fact of the matter is friends, no matter wether they send you text messages from across the planet telling you that make your day that much better or providing bottomless hugs to being your hermit buddy on the 6th floor of the library are truly wonderful, just like bra's.
Friendships and bra's both stop you from reaching your inevatble journey. As I mentioned earlier, Bras stop your boobs form reaching the grounds, or slow the process down and friendships stop you from going completely insane which will happen to us all once we hit the age of 70.
So, sleep as littler or as much as you want, drink as much coffee as you want and east as unhealthly as you want because all you really need to get through university is a group of wonderful friends, where ever they may be.
Friday, 30 November 2012
Thursday, 22 November 2012
Hairy University Dominos: The Wisdom Bun and the Wisdom Beard
It is november, and the weather is currently shittier that the service on the district line...... ok, people who are not familiar with the service on the London Underground probably won't get that reference, but either way it gets dark at 4 o clock now and the sky is black and pelting it down.
In my primary school, we use to play this game where depending on the sorts of rain we would associate them with one of Gods moods or actions. For example, if its raining heavily for about 15 minutes or so, God was washing his hands. So in the context of the old primary school game, I'd say that got has lost all control of his bladder for the past week or two and should probably go see a specialist or invest in some adult nappies.
I suppose the weather being the shits is actually a good thing this time of year, as it means that I can't get distracted by sunshine forcing you to procrastinate. It's interesting to see how peoples aperance changes over the course of the term. In the beginning you can see that people are actually trying to look nice, hair is done all nicely, most of them have and a new hair cut or colour, the boys are clean shaven, and peoples outfits tend to be fairly well thought out this usually lasts for a long time and then the Wisdom Bun makes its evil apperance.
The Wisdom Bun, is a specimin that forms on the top of female university students. Wisdom Buns are mounted on the top of the subjects head which is basically, a messy bun which comes from students having little to no time to do their hair due to the amounts of school work slowly escalating throughout the course of the term. As soon as the first Wisdom Bun appears on the head of a poor student marks in the first Wisdom Bun that triggers a domino affect and it is just a matter of time before the remainder is doomed to be a victim on the Wisdom Bun. By the end of the semester, approximately 7/8 of the female university population will have a Wisdom Bun mounted on their head, and nestled in their scruffy clothes. I saw my first Wisdom Bun appear in about the forth week of school this year, but i guess that is expected to happen when you are taking a forth year history class.
I managed to hold out till week eight of the semester before my first Wisdom Bun mounted itself on my head. Then it dissappeared again until this past week and now its back and will remain until the 5th of December. The unfortunate thing about Wisdom Buns is, they rarely, provide any extra wisdom which is much appreciated by the female student during times of academic purgatory. Basically the wisdom bun is a pseudonym for, "I look like Shit and I don't care nor do I have time bun, or do I give a flying f&#k, I just want sleep, wine and a bubble bath bun". It's probably for the best that the Wisdom Bun operates under that aylias, for names sake at least.
Although male university students don't opt for the wisdom bun (ok well the ones that arn't dirty hippies) men can typically be seen sprouting Wisdom Beards, or Scholarly Scruff as some men arn't quite able to sprout Wisdom Beards . Just like the Wisdom Bun, the Wisdom Beard slowly creeps up on the university male through out the course of the semester. As soon as one man decides to opt for a Wisdom Beard or scholarly scruff due to lack of time or simply not caring, or onset of exams they realize that, many of the great scholars have had quite epic beards. So, by sprouting a beard they will have the wisdom of Charles Darwin, and their cranial capactiy will expand greatly, allowing them do dominate over assignments and exams. I am not a man so I cannot say if they do provide any extra wisdom or if they just provide extra warmth for the winter.
Some times the Wisdom beards go on hold for the the month of november ,during the joyus month of "movember" in which 90% of the good looking men, and university men in general decided they would like a sex embargo to be issued from their significant other. Perhaps the single ones instead want to see what they would like if they were to become a famous dicatator ( name 1 dictator that has not had a distinctive moustache) by growing something that looks like a slug met big foot on their lip.
Wisdom Buns, Wisdom Beards, and Scholarly Scruff, slowly start to decline as of the last day of classes. As more and more students become increasingly liberated from the academic deamons of the underworld, in which bibliographies, lab exams and chicago style essay formats reign supreme. The reverse domino affect of the Wisdom Buns, Wisdom Beards and Scholarly Scruff can be seen. Females hair returns to a multiple array of perfectly designed hairstyles, targeted to highlight their features, razors are reunited with the hands, neck and face of the university males.
I suppose a term at university is just a bunch of domino's or rounds of dominos..... well hairdos and facial hairdos anyway. They rise they fall the come back for more and will only dissapear once the student walks across the stage to get their $20,000 piece of paper. Unfortunately for me, thats still about 2.5 years away so it looks like I still have several rounds of Wisdom Bun dominos to experience...... better stock up on the hair ties in that case.
In my primary school, we use to play this game where depending on the sorts of rain we would associate them with one of Gods moods or actions. For example, if its raining heavily for about 15 minutes or so, God was washing his hands. So in the context of the old primary school game, I'd say that got has lost all control of his bladder for the past week or two and should probably go see a specialist or invest in some adult nappies.
I suppose the weather being the shits is actually a good thing this time of year, as it means that I can't get distracted by sunshine forcing you to procrastinate. It's interesting to see how peoples aperance changes over the course of the term. In the beginning you can see that people are actually trying to look nice, hair is done all nicely, most of them have and a new hair cut or colour, the boys are clean shaven, and peoples outfits tend to be fairly well thought out this usually lasts for a long time and then the Wisdom Bun makes its evil apperance.
The Wisdom Bun, is a specimin that forms on the top of female university students. Wisdom Buns are mounted on the top of the subjects head which is basically, a messy bun which comes from students having little to no time to do their hair due to the amounts of school work slowly escalating throughout the course of the term. As soon as the first Wisdom Bun appears on the head of a poor student marks in the first Wisdom Bun that triggers a domino affect and it is just a matter of time before the remainder is doomed to be a victim on the Wisdom Bun. By the end of the semester, approximately 7/8 of the female university population will have a Wisdom Bun mounted on their head, and nestled in their scruffy clothes. I saw my first Wisdom Bun appear in about the forth week of school this year, but i guess that is expected to happen when you are taking a forth year history class.
I managed to hold out till week eight of the semester before my first Wisdom Bun mounted itself on my head. Then it dissappeared again until this past week and now its back and will remain until the 5th of December. The unfortunate thing about Wisdom Buns is, they rarely, provide any extra wisdom which is much appreciated by the female student during times of academic purgatory. Basically the wisdom bun is a pseudonym for, "I look like Shit and I don't care nor do I have time bun, or do I give a flying f&#k, I just want sleep, wine and a bubble bath bun". It's probably for the best that the Wisdom Bun operates under that aylias, for names sake at least.
Although male university students don't opt for the wisdom bun (ok well the ones that arn't dirty hippies) men can typically be seen sprouting Wisdom Beards, or Scholarly Scruff as some men arn't quite able to sprout Wisdom Beards . Just like the Wisdom Bun, the Wisdom Beard slowly creeps up on the university male through out the course of the semester. As soon as one man decides to opt for a Wisdom Beard or scholarly scruff due to lack of time or simply not caring, or onset of exams they realize that, many of the great scholars have had quite epic beards. So, by sprouting a beard they will have the wisdom of Charles Darwin, and their cranial capactiy will expand greatly, allowing them do dominate over assignments and exams. I am not a man so I cannot say if they do provide any extra wisdom or if they just provide extra warmth for the winter.
Some times the Wisdom beards go on hold for the the month of november ,during the joyus month of "movember" in which 90% of the good looking men, and university men in general decided they would like a sex embargo to be issued from their significant other. Perhaps the single ones instead want to see what they would like if they were to become a famous dicatator ( name 1 dictator that has not had a distinctive moustache) by growing something that looks like a slug met big foot on their lip.
Wisdom Buns, Wisdom Beards, and Scholarly Scruff, slowly start to decline as of the last day of classes. As more and more students become increasingly liberated from the academic deamons of the underworld, in which bibliographies, lab exams and chicago style essay formats reign supreme. The reverse domino affect of the Wisdom Buns, Wisdom Beards and Scholarly Scruff can be seen. Females hair returns to a multiple array of perfectly designed hairstyles, targeted to highlight their features, razors are reunited with the hands, neck and face of the university males.
I suppose a term at university is just a bunch of domino's or rounds of dominos..... well hairdos and facial hairdos anyway. They rise they fall the come back for more and will only dissapear once the student walks across the stage to get their $20,000 piece of paper. Unfortunately for me, thats still about 2.5 years away so it looks like I still have several rounds of Wisdom Bun dominos to experience...... better stock up on the hair ties in that case.
Saturday, 3 November 2012
The Travellers Body
I was getting ready to go out clubbing for a mates birthday. As I was doing my make up last night and trying to tame the vivacious mane that is attached to my head which is uncontrollable in this cities climate, I looked at a scar I have on my arm in the mirror that I got from when I was travelling.
Normally, I wouldn't pay much attention to it but for some reason it , as I continued to get ready I started to pay more attention to the other battle wounds I have collected of the past twenty years of being a smelly traveller child. It made me think, that these blemishes on my skin aren't just the bits of discolouration and damaged tissues. They are pieces of your travels and your experience's that you carry with you for the rest of your life, a piece of your adventures that you never get rid of, even in your old age when your face looks like a prune and you have lost all control of your bladder.
As I have mentioned in a previous post, when one comes back from travelling it all feels a bit like a dream and it's hard to believe that it has all happened. The Travellers Body often goes into shoc,k and carries some of them most valuable, memorable and beautiful experiences will ever have as a traveller.
The most important parts of the Travellers Body are the travellers arm and the travellers feet.
The Travellers arms often take a beating or two and are the most exposed part of the travellers body 95% of time. The travellers arms house some of the most emotional, and meaningful experiences the traveller will ever have, wether it comes from holding some of the most beautiful children in your arms and tickling them to death, to getting a henna tattoo on a street corner during rush hour, to moving your way through the coral reefs of the Indian ocean, to saying good bye to some of the most amazing people you could have ever traveled with, not knowing if you will see these people again. The travellers arms are filled with passion and feel both pleasure and pain as they are the easiest location for mosquitos to bite and injuries to occur.
The travellers arms are also the most decorated part of the travellers body, as bracelet acquiring is a universal traveller hobby. The travellers arms show them of with pride, these bracelets are either bought in markets or shops, or given buy some of the locals you met on you way that enriched your trip. The travellers arms pride themselves on showcasing these trinkets as each trinket tells a story, a story that is unique and is not the same as anyone else's, and the travellers arms are filled with stories and pride themselves on there extensive collection.
The travellers feet become tougher with each destination, the skin gets thicker as the terrains they cross get richer. The travellers feet leave only footprints, on the surface of the earth and disappear. The travellers feet collect little things as well, usually dirt but that gets washed away and also blisters and scars acquired from bush-waking, wearing new exotic shoes or just being an idiot. My travelling shoes still have dirt stains in them from when I was in Kenya, it won't come out and to be honest I don't mind. When I was in Kenya I hadn't showered for a week, hadn't brushed my hair in days and had come out of the hospital 4 days before that.I was in the middle of nowhere,surrounded by rolling hills, farm lands and goats with a view of Kilimanjaro and the wind blowing though my hair and I couldn't have been happier. So when I'm walking down main road in Vancouver in my traveller shoes I have a little bit of that Kenyan paradise with me.
I suppose all the travellers body is at the end of the day is a story, well i suppose its more of an anthology or a chronicle as it carries many stories with many chapters. I acquired a few more battle wounds, or story starters over the summer, that remind me of different things. I have a big scar on my leg from the exhaust pipe of a motorcycle when I was in Rwanda, which in the words of my dear friend Ryan "makes you more badass'. Another one on my leg that was caused from hiking on a muddy day, one of my foot courtesy of the rocks in the Indian ocean, Multiple ones on my arms from mosquito bites and rashes from the amoeba, one on my forearm from my near-death experience in a Rwandan hospital, and one under my hair from when I smacked my head on a toilet bowl in Nairobi. I'm am proud of every single one of them because each one has sort of helped me shape who I am.
Some of them are the result of brilliant adventures I have had, some of them are from some of the most terrifying moments of my life which have now made me a lot stronger and a lot braver.
" Studying makes you brainy but travelling makes you sexy." Therefore, if you have a collection of battle wounds you are probably one of the sexiest people out there, and it shows that your interesting, have character, are gutsy, have a sense of adventure
As bizarre as it sounds, i'm looking forward to collecting battle wounds/ story starters whatever you want to call it as its going to make the anthology or chronicle of my life that much richer and when I die, I hope I have a fair amount because then it means my life as a smelly travel child will be with me, and it shows that I made the most out of my life as a smelly traveller child.
Normally, I wouldn't pay much attention to it but for some reason it , as I continued to get ready I started to pay more attention to the other battle wounds I have collected of the past twenty years of being a smelly traveller child. It made me think, that these blemishes on my skin aren't just the bits of discolouration and damaged tissues. They are pieces of your travels and your experience's that you carry with you for the rest of your life, a piece of your adventures that you never get rid of, even in your old age when your face looks like a prune and you have lost all control of your bladder.
As I have mentioned in a previous post, when one comes back from travelling it all feels a bit like a dream and it's hard to believe that it has all happened. The Travellers Body often goes into shoc,k and carries some of them most valuable, memorable and beautiful experiences will ever have as a traveller.
The most important parts of the Travellers Body are the travellers arm and the travellers feet.
The Travellers arms often take a beating or two and are the most exposed part of the travellers body 95% of time. The travellers arms house some of the most emotional, and meaningful experiences the traveller will ever have, wether it comes from holding some of the most beautiful children in your arms and tickling them to death, to getting a henna tattoo on a street corner during rush hour, to moving your way through the coral reefs of the Indian ocean, to saying good bye to some of the most amazing people you could have ever traveled with, not knowing if you will see these people again. The travellers arms are filled with passion and feel both pleasure and pain as they are the easiest location for mosquitos to bite and injuries to occur.
The travellers arms are also the most decorated part of the travellers body, as bracelet acquiring is a universal traveller hobby. The travellers arms show them of with pride, these bracelets are either bought in markets or shops, or given buy some of the locals you met on you way that enriched your trip. The travellers arms pride themselves on showcasing these trinkets as each trinket tells a story, a story that is unique and is not the same as anyone else's, and the travellers arms are filled with stories and pride themselves on there extensive collection.
The travellers feet become tougher with each destination, the skin gets thicker as the terrains they cross get richer. The travellers feet leave only footprints, on the surface of the earth and disappear. The travellers feet collect little things as well, usually dirt but that gets washed away and also blisters and scars acquired from bush-waking, wearing new exotic shoes or just being an idiot. My travelling shoes still have dirt stains in them from when I was in Kenya, it won't come out and to be honest I don't mind. When I was in Kenya I hadn't showered for a week, hadn't brushed my hair in days and had come out of the hospital 4 days before that.I was in the middle of nowhere,surrounded by rolling hills, farm lands and goats with a view of Kilimanjaro and the wind blowing though my hair and I couldn't have been happier. So when I'm walking down main road in Vancouver in my traveller shoes I have a little bit of that Kenyan paradise with me.
I suppose all the travellers body is at the end of the day is a story, well i suppose its more of an anthology or a chronicle as it carries many stories with many chapters. I acquired a few more battle wounds, or story starters over the summer, that remind me of different things. I have a big scar on my leg from the exhaust pipe of a motorcycle when I was in Rwanda, which in the words of my dear friend Ryan "makes you more badass'. Another one on my leg that was caused from hiking on a muddy day, one of my foot courtesy of the rocks in the Indian ocean, Multiple ones on my arms from mosquito bites and rashes from the amoeba, one on my forearm from my near-death experience in a Rwandan hospital, and one under my hair from when I smacked my head on a toilet bowl in Nairobi. I'm am proud of every single one of them because each one has sort of helped me shape who I am.
Some of them are the result of brilliant adventures I have had, some of them are from some of the most terrifying moments of my life which have now made me a lot stronger and a lot braver.
" Studying makes you brainy but travelling makes you sexy." Therefore, if you have a collection of battle wounds you are probably one of the sexiest people out there, and it shows that your interesting, have character, are gutsy, have a sense of adventure
As bizarre as it sounds, i'm looking forward to collecting battle wounds/ story starters whatever you want to call it as its going to make the anthology or chronicle of my life that much richer and when I die, I hope I have a fair amount because then it means my life as a smelly travel child will be with me, and it shows that I made the most out of my life as a smelly traveller child.
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